


Concerning Rabbits

by stealyourshiny



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Magical Accidents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 06:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stealyourshiny/pseuds/stealyourshiny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commission by foxghost - She requested a story based on a gif with a kitten sitting on a rabbit chewing on the rabbit's ears. Fenris and Anders have a magical accident that gives Anders insight into ways to keep the elf happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Accident

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foxghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxghost/gifts).



“Stay still!”

“Just shut up and do it, mage!”

“I can’t if you’re fidgeting, unless you want the glass to be in your foot causing pain forever. Now _stop moving_.”

Fenris growled at the mage and grit his teeth doing his best to stay still as Anders carefully pulled small shards of glass from the bottom of his foot.

“What did you do, Broody?” Varric asked, swinging Bianca onto his back and walking over toward the two.

“He got thrown into a table full of potions during that last fight,” Hawke said. She ran a hand through her hair and frowned slightly, looking around at the mess. “Sorry about that, Fenris. I didn’t see the mage until he’d thrown you.”

“I’ll live,” Fenris replied and hissed. Anders was frowning as he pulled the last piece out, looking over at the broken glass nearby and the puddle of liquids with Fenris’ blood mixed into it.

“Why don’t we move ahead a little, do some scouting, Hawke?” Varric suggested. Hawke glanced at the mage and the elf and then nodded.

“Might as well. We’ll check for traps and be back soon. Will you two be okay?”

“Yes, we’ll catch up in a few minutes,” Anders replied distractedly as he did his best to try and clean Fenris’ wounds. Varric and Hawke turned and moved away, disappearing further into the chambers they’d been exploring.

“Will you hurry up, mage?”

Anders pursed his lips and glared at the elf before letting go of the foot in his hand and shifting over to the broken bottles and the pooled liquids.

“I want to know what was in those bottles before I heal you. I don’t want to close your wounds around something that could make you ill. Especially when I can’t clean your foot properly first,” Anders snapped. He dipped a finger into the liquid and sniffed it. It didn’t smell like anything he was familiar with, and that frustrated him. Hesitantly he touched his finger to his tongue before making a face and wiping his hand off onto his trousers. It was bitter and had a metallic tang to it.

“I don’t care, just heal me and be done with it!”

“Fine, but if you get ill later, it’s not my fault,” Anders replied and turned back to the elf’s foot in irritation, healing magic flaring around his hands. The moment he touched the elf, they both shouted in surprise before everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 1: Realisation

Someone was tugging on the blankets and Anders was starting to get annoyed. He didn’t _want_ to get up, and apparently they weren’t listening when he tried to tell them that with the growls and repositioning on the bed.

Or maybe it was bedroll.

Now that he thought about it, it seemed sort of... stone-like. He didn’t remember going to sleep on a stone floor. In fact, he didn’t remember going to sleep at all. The last thing he did remember, now that he thought about it, was healing that idiot elf’s foot. Why he wandered about with no shoes on and then bitched about getting healed when he stepped on something was beyond the mage. Something had happened while he’d been healing Fenris though... and he couldn’t remember what.

At that moment, the ‘blanket’ was finally lifted from his head and blinked in the light. His eyes quickly focused on the thing that had removed the blankets and he screeched in terror before making a valiant attempt to escape.

“OW. Ow ow ow ow ow - ANDERS, STOP IT,” the thing bellowed at him. He renewed his fight with vigor, finally besting the monster by biting one of its large fingers. The monster shouted in pain and he felt the sickening sensation of falling for a moment before he hit the ground on all fours. 

Another monster hove into view, a massive furry thing with bad breath. He felt his back arch upward and his mouth open wide, baring his fangs at the thing. Anders was going to dart into the nearby underbrush when the rest of his mind began to catch up with what was going on. The ‘monster’ in front of him was a mabari, but it was bigger than any mabari Anders had ever seen before. It towered over him by almost two feet.

And why was he still on all fours?

Not to mention... fangs?

It was at that moment the monster he had bitten picked him up again and brought him around to its face. He saw large blue eyes and shaggy black fur (hair?) staring at him sternly.

“Bad kitty. No biting. Maker, and I thought Fenris had been bad.”

“I am not chasing that rabbit again, Hawke.”

Anders stared at her in confusion. He looked right and left and saw two cream-coloured fur paws sticking out over Hawke’s hands from where she was holding him. He retracted the claws and then extended them again, staring. They were his claws. 

He realised that his ears were flat against his head and his tail was thrashing about. Anders slowly relaxed them both and turned his gaze back up to Hawke.

“....Mrow?”

She sighed at him. “I’ll put you down if you promise not to run off.”

“Mroooow.”

Hawke set Anders carefully on the ground and began to try and roll up the clothes he’d been tangled in when he’d awakened. He sat primly and watched her for a moment before looking himself over as well. He had short fur, like Ser-Pounce-a-Lot, but he was a lighter, creamy colour with stripes. 

It was while he was looking himself over that he felt the cold, wet nose being pushed firmly into one of his ears. His instinct dictated that he turn and attack the cold, wet nose, but he knew it was probably Hawke’s mabari, Bear. Instead, he turned and glared coldly at the mabari before hissing and walking (a little awkwardly, the tail was more difficult to manage than he had imagined) over to sit by Varric’s feet.

“Hey Blondie,” Varric said and reached down to scratch the top of his head.

It felt nice. So nice, in fact, that when Varric stopped Anders mrowled at him again and pushed his head against the dwarf’s boot. Varric chuckled and obliged the mage again. Hawke had finally finished packing everything up again and turned to look at the cat.

“Now, what to do with you? Your legs are too short for you to keep up next to us,” she said, crossing her arms.

“He wasn’t walking very well anyway while you were packing,” Varric pointed out. “Trouble with the tail, I expect.”

“And you’re carrying Fenris in your bag, aren’t you?” Varric nodded. “Well I guess he’ll have to go in mine then.”

Hawke knelt next to Anders and opened the flap of her bag, letting him sniff it and then reluctantly climb in. The mage poked his head out through the top so he could see what was going on and rested himself on top of all the clothing and supplies inside. He supposed this was how Ser-Pounce-a-Lot had worked things out when he wasn’t settled on Anders’ shoulder in the Deep Roads. 

He felt a little dizzy as she lifted him up and settled the pack onto her shoulders again. “We should be back in Kirkwall in a few hours, and hopefully we can figure out what happened then. Varric, will you be able to send someone to get Daisy when we get into the city?”

“Of course,” Varric replied, waving a hand at Hawke as they began to move forward again. “I’ll tell her to meet us at the estate.”

Anders made a growling noise, not happy at the prospect of the blood mage having anything to do with fixing them, but with Bethany in the Grey Wardens, she was the only other mage not in the Gallows that they knew.

“Oh shush, Anders. Don’t be such a ...erm... whiner.”

“You were going to say ‘pussy’ weren’t you?”

“Shut up, Varric.”


	3. Chapter 2: Monsters and Lettuce

His leg was painful. Fenris didn’t want to open his eyes and look at anything because his head was also hurting and he was going to wait until it stopped. Then he was going to find the mage and very calmly find out why his leg was still hurting after Anders was supposed to have healed it.

As he began to wake up more, he realised he was laying on something soft. He frowned slightly at that, since he last remembered sitting on the floor of one of the caves on the Wounded Coast, and there were certainly no soft things in that vicinity. Cautious, he opened one eye and then the other, blinking in the waning sunlight. He appeared to be on a blanket of some sort inside of... something with wooden walls. The wooden walls didn’t go up very high, as he could see an immense stone ceiling beyond. 

As he woke up more fully he realised he could hear voices. The witch’s voice along with Hawke and Varric were somewhere nearby. Their voices reminded him of a dream he’d had while he’d been unconscious - of giant dwarves and having to run and hide in bushes before finally being caught. Fenris shuddered and tried to call out, but he couldn’t seem to speak. The only noise he made was a strange sort of growl or purr. The walls didn’t look very high, so he tried to stand up to look over them only to find he couldn’t put any weight on his foot at all. The only view he did get before falling over again was lots of books, and that he was high off the ground.

Fenris sneezed violently as he sat back onto his haunches. There had been a very strong smell when he’d peered over the wall and now he couldn’t get it out of his nose. He didn’t know what it was, but it seemed to make his heart beat faster involuntarily, and he felt like a cornered animal.

A sound above him made him look up again and freeze. It was huge. It looked like a tiger, but was lighter in colour, the stripes were white instead of black. The animal seemed to be having some problems with balance as it moved across some sort of ledge near the top of his wooden walls. It tried to carefully climb down into the room with him, but ended up falling on its head and rolling with a muffled screech of annoyance.

It righted itself and sat for a moment, preening and trying to look as if it had meant to fall like that. Fenris found himself recognising that the overpowering smell was actually coming from the tiger-thing, which was now walking toward him. His instincts were telling him to run, but there was nowhere to run, the room was tiny and the tiger-thing took up most of it as it came over to him. Fenris closed his eyes and heard an unhappy squealing noise coming from somewhere and something was touching his head.

The sound, he was horrified to figure out, was coming from himself, and he opened his eyes again. The tiger-thing was patting his head gently with one giant paw. Was it going to play with him before it ate him? It then leaned down and began to sniff around him, finally nosing against his wounded foot.

It was going to bite him and start eating him and he had no idea what was going on or where he was and he couldn’t even yell for help, even though he could hear Hawke. She was so close by... Fenris swallowed, trying to keep his breathing even, but it was coming fast and short and his lungs were burning with the effort.

The tiger-thing sat back and looked at him with a curious expression in it’s amber-coloured eyes before opening it’s mouth. The teeth it revealed were sharp and white and terrifying.

“Meooooow!”

Fenris blinked.

Tigers did not say ‘meow’.

It was a cat. A huge cat. A huge cream-coloured tabby cat. Was it mutated? Like those damn giant spiders that were all over the place?

The cat leaned down and began to lick his foot gently. Fenris’ gaze followed the cat and stared at what could only be his foot. It had to be his foot, as the cat was licking it, and he could feel the cat licking it, but it didn’t look like his foot. It had black fur all over it and was shaped like... like a rabbit foot, with thin silvery lines of fur on his toes and thigh and up around his haunches. The cat wasn’t huge, he was small. He wasn’t in a room with short wooden walls, he was in a box.

“Anders?”

Fenris could hear her voice clearly now and looked up toward the opening of the box to see Hawke, though she was giant-sized, leaning down.

“Oh, Fenris, you’re awake. Good! Merrill is here and we’re trying to figure out what was in the potion that got into both of your systems. It seems to have reacted to Anders healing you and your markings and caused some sort of... transformation. Now you’re a rabbit - a very handsome rabbit, I might add - and Anders is a cat.”

“Mroooowwwwwlll.”

“Yes, of course you’re handsome too, Anders.”

The cat seemed satisfied with this answer and went back to cleaning the dried blood out of Fenris’ fur.

“We’re going to go talk to Lady Elegant and Xenon and see if we can’t get you two fixed up before tomorrow morning.” Hawke reached into the box and put her fingers on top of his head, rubbing gently between his ears. “Is your foot still bleeding? Bugger. Merrill? Can we do anything about it?”

Hawke turned away from the box, but was still scratching the top of his head, which was having a very calming effect. Fenris let his eyes slip closed, content to ignore the cat licking his foot and the fact that the cat smelled like fish and elfroot. Which was a very strange combination.

“Oh dear,” he heard the witch saying, her voice closer than before. “I can’t really do anything. I’m terrible at healing. We could try to let him drink some healing potion if we mixed it with his water, but that might interfere with anything else we try to do later. I’m so sorry Fenris! I hope it doesn’t hurt you too much.”

“Oh! His water!”

Hawke’s fingers left the top of his head, which made Fenris open his eyes and look at the cat in annoyance. He kicked lightly, trying to push Anders away, but it hurt. Anders just seemed to stop for a moment and regard him with what could only be an annoyed expression before resuming his cleaning. 

A moment later, a small dish full of water and a large piece of lettuce descended into the box. The lettuce was very interesting and the smell of the vegetable was almost overpowering the cat smell as he scooted himself toward it carefully, ignoring the growling sound the cat made when he moved. Fenris began to nibble on the closest edge of the leafy plant and if he could have, he would have groaned in pleasure. It tasted heavenly.

“Okay, we’ll be back soon. Do not leave this room, Anders, and try not to fight with Bear. Also, be nice to Fenris,” Hawke said and scratched the top of Fenris’ head again before reaching over to do the same to Anders. Fenris was a little startled when the cat began to purr loudly and watched as Anders shamelessly rubbed his face against Hawke’s hand, begging for attention.

“Anders, you’re terrible,” he heard Hawke say before her hand disappeared again and after a moment, the sound of the door closing. Fenris didn’t care though, even when Anders settled back down to lick his foot. He had lettuce.


	4. Chapter 3: Ears

When he was sure Fenris’ foot was completely clean of all dried blood, Anders nosed around a little more to make sure there wasn’t any more damage. It had started to bleed slightly when he’d cleared the dirty scabs out, but seemed alright now. He sat back on his haunches and licked his paws, trying to get the taste of lyrium-infused rabbit blood out of his mouth. 

After he was done, Anders wandered past the rabbit and drank some of the water from Fenris’ little dish, and then sat and watched the elf-rabbit-thing devour the lettuce in front of him. Normally, Anders would have been happy to see something green that was supposed to actually be green. He liked vegetables and rarely saw them in Darktown, but as a cat the smell of the lettuce was unappetizing at best. Hawke had given him some fish earlier, complaining that he was too thin for a cat his size. He had then proceeded to eat a quarter of a forty-pound tuna fish by himself.

Then again, he was only eating for a ten-pound Grey Warden cat instead of a hundred-seventy-something-pound Grey Warden human. 

Anders watched Fenris for a while longer, his tail twitching in boredom. He couldn’t explore, not that he’d want to anyway. He knew the house fairly well as a human, and his balance as a cat was currently mediocre. He had already fallen on his face more times that he cared to admit. 

The elf seemed to be done and shifted his fuzzy body, trying to stand on his hurt foot again. Anders made a growling sound at him, frustrated that he couldn’t yell or tell the elf how stupid he was. Fenris seemed to ignore him and tried to pull himself forward again, toward Anders.

Anders moved back a little, only to stick his foot into the water bowl. He hissed and moved out again, shaking his hind leg irritably. 

Fenris was trying to get to the water. Of course. Anders would have smacked himself in the forehead if he’d had hands to do it with. He shook his leg again and tried to grip the edge of the bowl with his teeth, tugging it toward the rabbit. Anders managed to spill a great deal of it into the blanket that was situated in the bottom of the box they were sitting in, but eventually it was close enough that Fenris could reach it without moving too much.

When the rabbit had drank his fill, Anders flopped onto the blanket next to him and yawned broadly. He pressed close to Fenris, trying to warm up a little. The blanket was damp, the library was fairly drafty, and the rabbit was warm. Anders heard a noise from the rabbit that could only be described as annoyed, so he stood up and draped himself over the rabbit’s back - just to be even more annoying.

Fenris squirmed underneath him, trying feebly to push him off. Anders just stayed where he was, enjoying the idea that he was driving the elf insane and for once, Fenris couldn’t threaten him with disembowelment. He settled heavily with a long yawn and wrinkled his nose when Fenris’ long rabbit ears twitched, tickling his whiskers.

After a few more ear twitches, Anders sneezed and mewed plaintively at the rabbit. Fenris twitched his ears again, and the cat batted lightly at them, trying to push them out of his face. When that didn’t seem to work he growled in annoyance before catching one ear gently in his mouth.

Beneath him, the rabbit stilled almost immediately. If he’d been human at the time, he probably would have been looking quite self-satisfied at having gotten the elf to stay still for once.


	5. Chapter 4: Cuddling Cuteness and Cures

“I hope they both stayed where I told them to,” Hawke said as she came into the library, a worried Merrill trailing along behind her as the Champion made her way to the wooden box sitting on her desk. 

She sighed in relief as she looked into the box and found both of her friends still there.

“They’re so cute!” Merrill exclaimed as she peeked into the box and saw a sleeping rabbit and a sleeping cat tangled together.

“They kind of are, aren’t they?” Hawke said, tilting her head as she peered at them. “Maker, Anders is chewing on Fenris’ ears in his sleep. They’re adorable!”

Merrill giggled as well before reaching into the box and picking up the bowl they’d used for water. “Should we just put what Xenon gave us in here and let them drink it?”

“I guess so. That seems to be the easiest way to get them to take the potion. Hopefully it will work.”

The elf nodded and pulled a vial from her belt. She opened it carefully and poured some of the thick liquid into the water bowl before replacing it in the box.

“Maybe we should put the box on the floor. If they turn back into themselves they might break my desk,” Hawke said with a slight frown.

“Maybe take them out of the box?” Merrill suggested.

“I don’t want to wake them though.” Hawke shifted her weight looking down at the two fuzzy creatures before picking the box up and putting it on the floor as gently as she could. Anders, she could see, lifted his head and glared at her before shifting his weight and settling down with his rabbit pillow again.

Merrill made a squeaking noise and reached into the box to scratch behind the cat’s ear, which seemed to make Anders relax even more.

“He’s such a handsome kitty, but he’s so skinny!”

“I know. I think I’m going to make sure Orana makes baskets for him and they get sent down to the clinic on a daily basis. He hides how skinny he really is under all those feathers,” Hawke said with a frown.

“He’ll probably just give it to the refugees and Darktowners,” Merrill replied. She knelt next to the box and reached in, petting Anders’ head gently and smiling. “It’s too bad. I think this is the nicest they’ve ever been together. There hasn’t been any fighting about mages and slaves for almost a whole day!”

“Merrill....”

“Oh. I suppose that’s not a very nice thing to think is it? But it’s true. Sometimes their fighting just gets so tiring, and I’m not even the one doing the arguing. I wonder why that is?”

Hawke smiled and shook her head, pulling the elf to her feet. “Who knows? I felt the same way about Bethany and Carver when they argued all the time. Let’s get something to eat and hope they wake up and drink the potion we put in the dish.”

“Okay! Can I have one of those chocolate thingies that Bodahn keeps in the box that’s on the thingie?”

“Yes, you may,” Hawke said, laughing and walking out of the room before closing the door carefully behind them.

The sound of the door closing was what woke Anders. He climbed off of the rabbit and stretched lazily, looking around. The water dish was full and smelled odd. He peered at it curiously, sniffing and tilting his head. It had a white sheen to the water and an herbal smell that was somewhat familiar to him. There was also the smell of Hawke and of Merrill.

He had a feeling whatever was in the water was something they’d gotten and hoped that it would fix the two of them. Anders wasn’t too sure. He would have preferred testing and being told more, but there was no way he was getting that door open when he could only just reach the knob if he stood on his hind legs, let alone be able to turn it and pull.

Anders moved back to the rabbit and rubbed against him, trying to wake him up. He’d rather drink the strange smelling thing together. After a moment or two, he finally got a grumpy green-eyed glare and Fenris inched forward carefully to smell the concoction. He seemed to wrinkled his nose in disgust, but Anders meowed at him. They had to at least try it.

Leaning over, Anders hesitantly dipped his tongue into the mixture and lapped up a little bit. He watched as the rabbit eventually did the same. Nothing seemed to happen other than his mouth tasting like cotton. Fenris curled up again and seemed to go back to sleep again almost immediately. After a minute, he also felt very tired and curled up next to Fenris, closing his eyes.


	6. Epilogue: The Hanged Man

It had been almost two weeks since the elf had last seen the mage. Since they had both woken up violently the box they’d been placed in breaking open under their combined weight. The fact that Hawke and Merrill came running in to find them both swearing loudly and completely nude had not helped.

He had not gone out with Hawke since then, claiming his foot needed time to heal - despite the fact that the mage had mostly fixed it before they’d been transformed. He didn’t want to be confronted with the annoying blond man, especially with the memory of a certain tabby cat gnawing pleasantly on his ears.

Fenris shivered slightly and rubbed at his ears as he stared into the fireplace of his room. He heard the door downstairs open and he sighed, standing and moving to his bedroom door. Usually only Isabela and Hawke just walked in like that, and his money was on Hawke. He opened the door and walked out to the balustrade, leaning over to look at the woman down below.

“Feeeeenriiiiiis!” Hawke called up and waved at him with a grin. “Come to the Hanged Man! Card night and we miss you and I promise not to say anything about you and Anders naked in my library!”

Fenris rolled his eyes at her and sighed, knowing she’d just stay there and whine at him until he gave up. He collected his sword and followed her outside, letting her babble at him in her usual way as they walked through Hightown and into Lowtown.

The Hanged Man was as busy as it always was, with their little corner bustling with life. Varric holding court at the head of the table while Isabela was tormenting the Chantry brother with her cleavage. Merrill was giggling next to an exasperated Aveline, and Anders was sitting across from them, apparently snickering into his drink. Hawke skipped forward quickly and took a seat next to Varric and Sebastian, leaving the only empty spot for him. The empty spot was next to the abomination. He pursed his lips and looked at Hawke, who gave him an innocent smile, and then took his place next to the mage.

After that, the time went quickly. Anders appeared to be ignoring him, which he was perfectly fine with, and ignored the mage back. 

“Oh come on, Anders! I taught you to play this game years ago! You used to be able to at least hold your own,” Isabela complained, pulling all the money toward herself for the fourth (or perhaps it was the fifth) time that evening.

‘Yes, well you try bluffing with a Spirit of Justice telling you that lying for monetary gain is ‘unjust’ all the time,” Anders retorted, reaching for his drink. Fenris also reached for his drink at the same time, and they bumped hands briefly before scowling at each other.

“And whose fault is it that you have a demon in your head to begin with?” Fenris retorted at the mage. He saw Hawke’s mouth open at the end of the table, perhaps to head off whatever might come next.

“Spirit,” Anders replied through clenched teeth.

“Hey now, you two... Last time you argued, we found a rabbit and a cat in your places,” Varric began.

“That’s right! I heard they were adorable. Were they adorable?” Isabela interrupted, grinning at them both.

“This is ridiculous,” Fenris snapped, tossing his cards onto the table and pushing himself up.

“Aw, Fenris... please don’t listen to them,” Hawke said, trying to get the rest of the group to settle down. She had finally gotten them all together again and she didn’t want it ruined so early.

“Sit down, elf,” Anders said, putting his mug down with a defeated sigh. Fenris knew that when Hawke turned on the puppy-eyes Anders always jumped to her call. It didn’t matter that the woman preferred Merrill’s company.

“You do not tell me what to do, mage,” Fenris snapped back, still standing, but hesitating over whether or not to leave. He was more inclined to leave now that Anders was telling him to stay. The mage pushed himself up, and Fenris braced for a fight, glaring at the human before Anders gestured toward the hallway.

“May I speak to you in the hall then, if you do not wish to sit again?”

Fenris glanced around the table at all the eyes watching them before making a ‘pfaugh’ noise and stomping out into the hallway, Anders following behind him.

“What do you want ma-eeeeee!” As soon as they were out of sight of the group, Anders grabbed him and pulled the elf against his chest. Fenris had started to fight, but at that moment he felt teeth on the cusp of his ear and the pleasure that shot down his spine took all the fight out of him.

“Now, you’re going to stay, and be nice for once,” Anders murmured in his ear before moving to the other ear and giving it a bite as well. 

“For Hawke,” he continued, “or I will tell Isabela about your ear fetish.”

Fenris sucked his in breath, his eyelids fluttering closed. Damn mage, and the damn ears, and damn Hawke, and damn everything. “I figured it out while you were a rabbit. You calmed right down the moment I gnawed on your ears,” Anders told him with a breathy chuckle. Maker, had the mage’s voice always been that husky?

“Fine,” Fenris growled, though he was secretly disappointed when the mage released him and stopped nibbling on his ears. Fenris turned quickly and grabbed Anders, slamming him against the wall and glaring up at him furiously. He could feel how red his cheeks were now and the mage didn’t seem at all repentant for what he’d just done. “But don’t you ever do that again without asking me first and not in public.”

He released the mage’s shirt and stomped back down the hallway and into Varric’s suites, leaving Anders to follow with a slight smirk and raised eyebrow. Anders had a feeling Fenris would be making sure he got home 'safely' tonight.


End file.
